Help! I've fallen and I can't get up

In last year I've adapted the idea that life is a series of rises and falls, my one time roommate calls it the pit. She describes it as – sometimes you are on one side, its a little bit of flowers and a little bit of weeds, but things are decent... however, you know you are about to take a journey. Then you have a sometimes slow sometimes rapid decline into your pit... the pit is miserable, it's when you are just absolutely helpless and all wrapped up in the thorns – to me, it's like trying to run when you are holding your breathe. Then there is the incline, which is a lot of work... this is like after you have held your breathe for a long time that initial intake of panic – but for the most put the incline is when things start looking up. And then, lastly, there is the other side... the other side is glorious, to me... it's like watching a sun rise or set, its that powerful moment when you realize that the same God that made this event made you.

Right now... I'm so very much in my pit. Regardless of my efforts, regardless of out stretched hand... no one is lifting me out. I keep waiting and waiting, and crying out and crying out for God to pick me up... and nothing. I've pulled all my resources... I've got nothing left.

Silence is GOLDEN

After the most random series of events, I find myself sitting here questioning silence.

I was watching this video, a miniature little sermon about silence... The man on the video used the story of Elijah the Prophet hearing the voice of God – not in extravagant events, but in silence. He further explains the the Hebrew word that is translating in our English Bible is a word that would literally translate to mean no noise. Then the video proceeded... however, it was no longer a man talking – but simple white words on a simple black screen. The words were questions... like – are you afraid of silence? Are you ever in complete silence? Are you afraid of God's voice? Or what He might say?

After watching the video... the question came to my mind: is silence the absence of noise, or is it the ability to find stillness even in chaos?

And honestly I don't know... I think the right answer is the lack of noise, right? I mean the literal definition of Silence is “the absence of noise.” But couldn't silence also be finding peace, serenity – stillness – in noise?

I think God wants us to do both... both be in complete silence, and find Him even in craziness.

But I don't know... maybe my simple mind is over-complicating this, I'm human – I do that. Often.

If I just breathe, I'll know everything is alright..

Sometimes you know very clearly when God is teaching you something... yesterday was one of those times.

Suffering.

In class yesterday we studied the portion of 1 Peter about suffering... specifically the suffering of the believer. In our notes the text is split up into various sections, each one emphasizing something significant about the believers journey of suffering. Things like the conduct of suffering, Christ's suffering, and the commands of suffering. The part of the text that specifically stuck out to me is the conduct of suffering, 1 Peter 3:13-17. The author, Peter, writes in verses 13 and 14 about how one needs to remain confident during suffering... and that was really just kind of interesting.

Prior to class I had a Bible study in the morning, someone read this really profound thing out of a daily devotional... and I just really can't quite shake it. I feel like it relates to where I'm at right now.

She read … “If you are going to be used by God, He will take you through a multitude of experiences that are not meant for you at all, they are meant to make you useful in His hands, and to enable you to understand what transpires in other souls so that you will never be surprised at what you come across.”

I translate that to mean... Sometimes we suffer through experiences, but we need to realize that it's not really about us. God uses crappy situations (or experiences) to equip us with the righteous tools we need to better serve the Kingdom.

And how often do we think that? I mean really... I've never looked at the fact that I suffer as a benefit to the Kingdom – or a benefit to really anything actually. But how neat... and relieving... to know that we are suffering with reason and purpose.

I've always been taught to be thankful for experience... not just for my own knowledge, but for the sake of passing my wisdom on to others who are dealing with similar situations. And now, I feel like I have more reason to be thankful for every experience – even suffering.

I know it's hard for me to see a point in suffering, especially in times like right now when I feel like hard times just keep piling on. But yesterday really made me stop and think...

If I plan to serve in ministry... which I think there is like a call to every believer to be ministering in some capacity, so I feel like this is relevant to everyone... I need to take every experience in and soak it all up, so that I can never miss out on an opportunity to minister to someone.

So suffering...

Yeah. Suffering.

Its good for you, ya know. And I really feel like God is teaching me this lesson. A little bit of pain, a little bit of suffering... in the long run its a benefit – to everyone.