Single; Female; Called into Ministry.

Let me preface this by saying that I am very high on the list of supporters for women's rights in ministry. When I graduated from Bible college without a ring on my left hand, I was proud and flaunting my single-hood while all the other unmarried (or un-engaged, or un-dating) women probably shed few tears because they felt unsuccessful in their journey through Christian College. I never went to Bible College to get my MRS, and I all but spit in the faces of people who thought I did. I heard the comments, I faced the facts, I confronted people head on when they questioned how I was going to go into ministry without a pastor husband. I am 100% behind the movement of letting the world know that women are effective and successful in ministry with or without a husband. However, with that being said... maybe it's time us single ladies stopped telling the world we are called, and we are useful, and we are efficient without husbands - and we just starting being those ladies that we've spent so much time defending to the world.

I know there is stigma attached to being a woman. I feel it. I experience it. I, firsthand, have had to stand up to men and prove my worth and intelligence as a woman. I know that burning desire in your hearts to take off your heels and ask your friends to hold you back because you are about to take out a few good men who have put you down. I get it. I've read all the articles and I've read all the blogs, I relate and they so perfectly resonate in my heart. I know it's hard to live in a world so old school and steeped in tradition that the first thing your church leadership, friends, family, and acquaintances look for is a ring on your finger. And, I know how much we want everyone to know that God has called US - and not just to be arm candy or a trophy wife. But you, really you, God gave you a deep desire for something specific and that call cannot be ignored... and it runs so deep and so wide that you know that it is the Lord leading you. I get all of that.

But what are we actually doing?

I, too, am victim to feeling discouraged and overpowered by the negative responses I receive to being a single lady. I know the sadness that is experienced when you have to go to yet another wedding, for yet another classmate, sibling, cousin, friend who has been blessed with marriage, and having to engage in conversation with people about why it isn't you and when it is going to be your turn. I know the discouragement of seeking out ministry opportunities and being rejected because of your single marital status. I, too, have taken those feelings and let them eat away at me. I've let discouragement and sadness dictate what my next move was, and I've fallen short of pursuing the will of God because I believed the hurtful words spoken to me against my willingness to serve. I have even written, some published and some never shared, thoughts about being single and being hurt by others through that. Today though, I read yet another post from a hurting girl sharing her discouragement for all us other single ladies to relate and feel empowered by and the thought occurred to me... what am I even doing?!

I think it is time for us loud and proud single ladies to stop whining on the Internet about the pastor/uncle/brother/father/friend who commented on our internal clock ticking. I think it is time that we put our money where our mouth is and actually start doing what we claim we can do. Just because we haven't, yet, been blessed with marriage doesn't mean we're broken - so stop acting like we are. It is one thing to talk the talk, but an entirely different thing to walk the walk. We can spend all our time proving to the world through words that we are good enough on our own, but if our actions don't match or even confirm what we are speaking... then what is the point. God didn't call you to get passionate about being right and proving that you are to others. He called you to do work... so DO IT.

This charge isn't just for you, I am challenging myself here too. I know how easy and simple it is to be the victim, but I've had enough of it. I can imagine how awesome the world would be and how much of a difference we could be making if we just did the things God called us to do and stopped just telling everyone we are capable of doing things. I mean... maybe if we did what we say we can do, people would stop questioning whether or not we can do it.