Every person lives life on a journey of self-discovery... it is an inevitable walk of life. Each day you wake up, put on your clothes, and exchange words, glances, and occurrences with others who are on their own personal journey. There are certain things everyone looks for on their personal journey. Like... purpose, identity, love, peace... and for every person that looks like something else. Personally I'm not sure I know my purpose, or who I am, and I certainly am not sure I know what love is, or if I'll ever feel peace.
However... I have learned something really important on this journey of self-discovery. That one thing I've realized is a significant part of finding yourself, is finding God in all the things you do.
It is easy to forget that God is always with you... especially in the hazy times.
Right now is a really unclear, uncertain, confusing time in my life... where am I going? Am I taking the right steps to get the right places? Am I listening hard enough? Am I reacting appropriately? Am I fulfilling my purpose?
It really stresses me out to think that I could be taking action, making steps... going places that I shouldn't be or don't need to be. I pray every day, without fail, that God just make things clear to me and allow me to not stray in ways that will lead me away from him and his will for my life
Then I read this blog post of a girl who is barely an acquaintance of mine... I only read it cause I was being nosy honestly. And she talked about all the deep breathes she has to take... how her life isn't where she pictured it being, but that it's okay... cause she knows God is in her every step.
Then it hit me... God is here. God is leading me.... it's just not in ways I expected.
I'm finding God in places I didn't expect... and... it's breathe taking. God is here. God is leading me... it's just not in ways I expected.
It's a good feeling to know that even though I'm unsure that God is sure... and it's a good feeling to know that even though my vision is blurry that God can see straight... and it's a good feeling to know that even though I'm confused that God knows what he is doing.
I'm always afraid of messing up God's working... I over think and stress things until I know clearly what I'm suppose to do. But right now, at this point in my life... it just doesn't work like that. But... God is here. God is leading me... it's just not in ways I expected.
So as I lay my head against my old purple flower pillow, and thank God for life – and lift up the lives of those around me – I'll remember. God is here. God is leading... and I can find peace in that. And tomorrow, when I awake to start another day on my journey of self-discovery I'll remember... God is here. God is leading... it's just not always in ways I'd expect.
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